As I slept in the stillness and
quiet of the night, my mind wandered down a narrow dirt road, past the rows of
small houses, some shabby, some neat and orderly, but all covered in patches of
sunlight with shadow scattered across. The quiet was almost stunning,
enveloping the entire town. There were no cars, no traffic lights, none of the
common sights in the cities where I live. I saw several black men and women
dressed neatly but humbly. Some walked in silence while others were talking and
laughing loudly. In the distance I saw a woman walking in the opposite
direction, gazing straight ahead, her long black hair flowing down her back in
a braid. As I approached her, I greeted her with a smile. She looked back at
me, her clear dark eyes showing slight confusion and surprise.
“What business brings uh white woman
lak you here dis mornin'? Seems mighty strange tuh me.”
“I don't know. I must have lost my
way as I walked. What town is this?”
“Dis is Eatonville. Ah run uh store
here,” she said pointing down the road. “Ah'm headed dat way right now. If you
lak tuh come wid me, you'se welcome. Mah name is Janie.”
“My name is Katharine. Nice to meet
you.”
“Mah pleasure.”
We walked further down the road, and
as we walked we admired the morning sunrise.
“It's de lov'liest thing Ah've seen.
Yuh ever wonder how God kin make it lak dat?” she asked.
“It's a mystery to us, but He had
the power to create not only that but also everything else we see in nature.”
She nodded in agreement, but at the
same time her expression seemed to question what I had said.
“If God kin make all dat, why don'
He make everyone have uh happy life?”
“Would you say that you do?”
“Well, Ah'm free now so now Ah'm
happy. Dat's because mah husband Jody died, and wid him I had no freedom or
happiness of mah own. He was de mayor, and he had uh lot uh burden an'
responsibility, too. I dunno if he had uh happy life either.”
“I'm so sorry. That must have been
tough for both of you.”
“It was. But Ah'm through it now,
and now I live mah own life for myself. I needs tuh find mah way to happiness
now dat Ah got mah freedom back. Why does yuh think God don't give everyone uh
happy life?”
“I believe God gives everyone the
freedom to make their own choices, but often the choices that we make bring us
unhappiness. Other times life is just unfair,
even to those who make good choices. The evil in the world is
persistent, but patience is rewarded. The struggles in life don't mean that God
is not good and kind or powerful enough, they simply give us the opportunity to
trust Him.”
“How does yuh know dis?”
“I believe it because of what I've
read in the Bible and what I have observed about myself and the way the world
works.”
“Ah'm not exactly sure what I
believe. Ah'm a black woman who's got tuh fend fuh mahself now. Us blacks have
uh hard time heah. Most uh dem people look at us as less den dey, an' I dunno
how dere's love out dere for people lak me. We'se seen as unvaluable. Ah know
Ah'm valuable, but how does Ah go an' prove it tuh dem?”
“You are not any less valuable than
anyone else in the world. You don't have to prove it to anyone. If they don't
see it, then their blindness is their own issue.”
By that time we had reached the
store. Janie opened the door and entered the shop, going over to the counter
immediately where she washed her hands, moved a couple of barrels over to the
wall, and pulled out a chair and sat down. I sat down on a chair in a corner.
“Dis is mah store. Jody used tuh run
it wid me.” She sighed. “Do yuh lak it?”
“Yes, it's nice! How do you feel
about working here?”
“I knows dat God was de one who made
me tuh get born into de world, but I didn't ever guess He woulda had me in dis
store working by mahself. What's true is dat Ah always needed tuh love
somebody, and dere's nothin' more false den de idea dat I could be happy widout
love. Ah knows Ah'm going to heaven someday because dat's where mah grandma
went. She always knew what God said tuh her, but she was also de one who made me
marry de man Ah never loved. If dat was what God said, and if dis empty life in
dis store is what God had fuh me, den Ah dunno if Ah even wants tuh go tuh
heaven and see God. Ah needs to be here and learn tuh love uh man. But Ah'm
alone now. Ah know Ah gotta do de things dat are right and good so that Ah stay
outa trouble and so dat God won't be angry. Ah always done what Ah knows best,
but Ah sometimes don' see de purpose of it.”
“I believe that God doesn't look at
you with dissatisfaction or scorn. He won't let you struggle alone. I know that
I was made in His image to do His work. He created me to live on this earth for
a good purpose. You also were made in His image for a good purpose.”
“What could dat purpose be?”
“Part of His purpose for you is that
you belong to Him. I belong to Him because through His great love for me He
adopted me to be His daughter. He loves you in exactly the same way He loves
me. I know I will be with Him forever in heaven. Heaven is a real place where
there is eternal happiness as we live with God. And living with God is not
dreadful because He wants to pour out His love and blessings on His children.
The perfect love of God is true, but the idea that we are worthless and should
just give up is a lie that can only destroy and make us blind to the truth of
God's love. I always try to be wise with my decisions and loving toward others
not to win His love, which I already have, but because I love Him. I know He is
real, and I want to respond to Him by giving Him my whole life.”
I paused for a moment, looking out
through the open door at the quiet, peaceful town where the breezes blew softly
through the trees. I could see her behind the counter with a faint smile on her
face, her eyes glistening with tears. I hoped that what I said had helped her
in some way.
Just then a woman came into the
store asking for some flour. Janie knelt behind the counter to scoop it for
her, and I looked around the shop observing the dusty, rough woodwork, the
furniture, and the simplicity with admiration. I thought back to what my own
house looked like, with computers and cell phones, clutter and complexity.
Outside there were no traffic noises
or pollution. Neighbors were chatting and laughing in a friendly manner, and I
thought of the seclusion of our suburban neighborhood where hardly anyone ever
talked to each other. The technology we had back at home did not help us as
much as it hindered us from personal friendships, distracted us from our work
and chores, and took away from the beauty of nature in the simple, perfect way
God made it.
I thought about how in the future
there would be freedom for blacks, how they would be given more rights and
experience less discrimination. I thought about how black women would be able
to get good educations and find well-paying jobs to support their families.
There were a lot of things that
Janie didn't know about that would happen one day. There would be new
opportunities, new technology, new ways of thinking. I wondered if Janie would
like it as much if she could visit me in my life as I enjoyed visiting her for
a day in her life. She would be amazed by our technological devices, but also a
little disgusted at their complexity as well as the lack of interaction and
kindness shown between neighbors. On the other hand she would be delighted by
the new freedom she would find for herself and the other women of her race. Her
descendants would be the ones to experience that life, but they would not be
able to make a comparison because they would miss out on the beauty of the
quiet life in the town of Eatonville. I wondered myself which lifestyle I liked
better.
The customer left the store and
Janie and I exchanged one last glance with a tender smile before the dimly lit
store, the view of the dirt road and the trees blowing in the breeze, and
Janie's beautiful, dear face faded from my view. I opened my eyes and found
myself looking at my bedroom where my school books lay in a heap and a computer
sat on my desk. The dream lingered in my mind as I pondered my visit with Janie.
A new realization struck me just then. Technology would change and history
would always be moving forward, but God's love would never change and my future
with Him would never end.
By Katharine Johnson
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